It feels like a long week for me after i had a scary scene on Asha's first bday :'(
Though this week started with a helpful day frm my husband who took a day off from work, but still it couldn't lift up my mood, spirit, excitement, confidence to go through my daily role as a stay at home mom for Asha. This monday had been very wonderful. With husband at home, i could have more time to cook propper meal for us. Then we managed to tidy up the whole house. It feels better to see spacious clean room.
But as i said, still i haven't gain my confidence to take care Asha by myself again. So i decided to took her to my aunt house on Tuesday. It feels better to be around with family.
Today is wednesday. We had enough good time at my aunty's house. Time to go home. Tomorrow i'll start again my main role as a stay at home mom for Asha. I thought it is thursday already. But there are two more days before weekend. I have to be strong and be a good mom for Asha (good wife for husband too).
In a time like this, i feel like i wanna go back to bandung, to my parent. Bring Asha with me. So i can feel safe and secure to raise her around family. But that would be mean that we have to leave husband alone and go through the long distance relationship again which i don't want. So i'm in a big dilemma. Choosing between raising Asha safely calmly securily around my family (at least until she's 2 yo) or struggling my daily life day by day as a stay at home mom for Asha when there's lot of time i feel insecure, scare, unconfidence. Oh i'm so whinny. And it's still wednesday..